Kissing the Rain
by fiesa
Summary: One Shot Collection. Part14. "You really don't understand, do you?"
1. Time and Time again

**Time and Time Again**

_Summary: KissingTheRainSeries Part1. Every time Cass uses his strategy, he gets up again. One time, he doesn't.  
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_Warnings: Wow – it's almost romance! Almost. If that (possible romance, isa- and Rese-style) might be a reason for you to leave, here's your last chance to run._

_Set: Story-unrelated_

_Disclaimer: Standards apply. This one goes to Snowlia, who did a great job in betaing! Thanks!  
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* * *

_

Teresa is twelve years old and Cassidy is thirteen, but if she wants to, she can still kick his butt.

Training with Teresa is some kind of masochistic streak he must possess, Cassidy believes, because it's mostly his poor ass that swipes the floor in the end. But he does it anyway.

Training with Cassidy is like fighting the sea, Teresa thinks, because she never seems to actually get to him – no matter how much she kicks and punches and strikes at him. She needs it anyway.

* * *

They're in the middle of a training fight and nobody is winning.

Rese is strong, but Cass is fast and intelligent and they enjoy it, so they don't want it to end too soon. But after some time, Cassidy starts to feel exhaustion. He doesn't have the energy and stamina his partner has. He has to end the fight soon, but it doesn't look as if he'll be winning, so he has to find a way. His mind is racing.

Rese notices Cass's movements are becoming strained, slower; his breath comes in fast and shallow huffs. She'll win, she knows, it's just a matter of time. They're evenly matched, but if it comes down to raw energy, she's the one at advantage. Her feet move while she lashes out, her fist aiming for his stomach. Cassidy dodges and strikes a round-house kick at her side. She leaps backwards elegantly and tries again. This time her fist connects. Cassidy groans and crumples to the floor.

"Yes!" Teresa knows she has won, so she lets herself fall to the floor next to him. He doesn't move.

"I win," she tells him, her breath still coming fast. The smile illuminating her face is blinding. "I…"

She can't finish, because Cassidy erupts from the floor, flings himself onto her and pins her to the ground, grinning widely. She stares at him, appalled. Then shock turns into anger.

"You cheated!"

"I won."

It's the first time he uses this strategy.

* * *

The next time, they both are fifteen and they're hunting down a vampire who's on the verge on turning into a ripper. Ten, Jay, Jaq and Terrence are with them; Nadya hasn't yet joined their team.

"Split up," Teacher orders. "Ten, Jaq and Jay follow the trail. Teresa, Cassidy and Terrence finish the perimeter check.

"Why?" Teresa demands angrily and gives her teammates a hard stare. "I want to hunt down the ripper, too!"

"You'll be on patrolling duty as long as I tell you," Daemon answers calmly. "Be back at six. Don't be late."

He disappears into the darkness. The hunter apprentices are left to themselves. Cassidy knows Teacher will be watching them from the shadows, accessing their skill and strength. He shrugs.

"Let's go."

It's dark and cold and the grounds of the abandoned house they're patrolling looks more like a labyrinth than anything else. There is rubble everywhere; walls are crumbled, window-panes broken. It's eerily quiet. Cassidy gives Terrence a knowing stare and he nods curtly. Teresa is still occupied and angry, mumbling into her coat collar. She is the first one who notices, though. Suddenly, she stops, freezing into a marble statue. Not even the strands of black hair move. Cassidy and Terrence pause and listen as hard as Teresa does. But no one sees the dark shadow until it lashes itself onto Terrence.

They're not stupid, even though they're only shadows of their former vampire-self. They quickly single out the strongest one of them. Terrence fights back hard, but neither Cassidy nor Teresa are able to help, confronted by another pair of rippers. _They're so damn fast. _He goes down, still fighting and kicking, but the ripper attached to his back puts his claws around his neck and starts to asphyxiate him. Teresa's swearing in his ears, Cassidy quickly goes through the options they have. It's not much his brain comes up with. He makes up his mind within seconds. Then, suddenly, his body turns rigid and stiff and he lets himself fall to the ground, closing his eyes and willing his breathing and heartbeat to be slower and slower. A furious ripper, betrayed by its prey, snarls angrily and launches himself onto Theresa, who's the last one still moving. Teresa sees Cass go down and cries out in anger and frustration. The remaining rippers snarl and hiss and attack her simultaneously.

"_Cass!"_

Terrence is out cold. He's the only one who can help.

Cassidy launches himself from the ground, his weapons ready, his mind prepared. He gets one monster in the back, the screeching wail telling him he has hit. Then he is next to Rese, fighting the last foe. Together, they end the fight within seconds.

"You did it again!" She accuses him later.

He gives her a nonchalant shrug. "What did I do again?"

"_You know what I mean!"_

He knows, but he won't tell her.

"I saved your life, that's what I did."

"Ahrg!"

She almost manages to kick him.

* * *

The strategy is good and works well, almost every time he applies it. The only one who doesn't like it is Teresa.

* * *

She's twenty and he's twenty-one and they're still alive and hunting, even though the experiences they've had left them raw and hurt and scared. Rese isn't the only one with nightmares now.

But even though they've lost friends and encountered death, they're still working for the Council – together. They've met many other hunters by now, but no one can fill in the gaping holes their departed former teammates created in their lives. So whenever they need a partner, they mutually turn to each other.

They're hunting down two stray nightmare demons that were created by some insane weirn. They've eliminated him first but didn't get the demons and now, they are roaming freely, in search of children's dreams and flesh. They've hunted them through a few cities – small and big ones, lively and sleeping ones – and finally have cornered them. The demons don't know they're here yet, but they'll notice soon. Cassidy has brought some little surprises for them, given to them by their former teacher's friend, Roi, and Teresa is filled with enough rage to burn down an entire flock of them. If thoughts could kill, they'd only be smoldering ashes by now, but life doesn't work like that. She'd had enough nightmares in her life to know that's true.

The seals activate and the demons are caught in a field of light, shrieking and raging inside the safety wards. Suddenly, the room is full of light. But there are no children in those beds. They've been lured into a trap.

They have fed enough lately. They are strong. They launch themselves at the barrier surrounding them, baring their yellow fangs. Their claws make horrible noises while scraping against the wards. Teresa regards them with dark certainty.

"We've got you."

The demons snarl at her viciously, but she doesn't shrink back. Then, suddenly, she turns rigid.

"Rese?" Cassidy asks, kneeling on the floor a few meters away from her, but she doesn't answer. Her eyes are fixed on the two monsters in front of her. The demons suddenly are quiet. Nobody moves.

"Teresa?" He asks again, gets to his feet and starts crossing the room. She doesn't move.

"_Teresa!_"

He grabs her shoulders and forces her around. Her fists are balled at her side; her face is contorted in fear. Her mouth is slightly open – maybe she would have screamed in panic, but she's still Teresa and she doesn't scream. But in her eyes, he sees unbridled fear. He shakes her.

"Rese! Wake up! They're just…"

Her nightmares have to be really, really strong – of course they are, she has told him about them, even it had been a long time ago – and suddenly, the demons give a collective, piercing scream and the barrier shatters. Now free from the restraining lightning cage, they attack immediately. Cursing, Cassidy makes a move for his weapons. He isn't fast enough. They lash out at him – red eyes and black claws and yellow fangs – and Teresa still doesn't move – and he has to do something, protect her somehow – the demons' claws cut through the denim of his jacket and he doesn't even feel the pain, but suddenly there's red, red everywhere, and it's cold and wet and his own legs refuse to support him any longer. He blinks, trying to see through the red, hazy mist, and the last sensation he feels is the cool and hard floor tiles in his back.

_Brown eyes stare at him, huge in fear._

It's the last thing he sees.

Teresa sees him fight – _unarmed – _and sees him go down and knows it's his coward strategy once again. She has to move, she has to do something – she can't let him do all the fighting, she's a hunter too, she has her pride. It takes an enormous amount of determination to finally leave behind the black void of terror the demons have created in her – showing her faces and battles and people – and she finally can feel her limbs again. With a wordless scream of rage, she launches herself at the first demon and catches him in surprise, but the advantage doesn't last long. She knows Cassidy will be up within seconds, helping her, protecting her back against the second demon. Something slams into her back and she shrieks again, fury clouding her vision. He's really good for nothing, he can't even…

Claws rake down her back and leave trails of searing pain and hot, wet blood, and suddenly realization dawns: He isn't fighting.

It's only her and two demons and Cassidy's down.

* * *

She doesn't know how she defeated the demons – all she knows is that her partner is unconscious, bleeding to death slowly, and she has to do something, _anything._ The fight passes in a blur and the next thing she remembers is running, or rather forcing herself forward, half-carrying, half-dragging him behind, staggering into the Sanctuary half-blind with pain and tears and dizzy with the loss of blood. She doesn't want to let go, but an unconscious body is somehow forced from her and she's led into another direction. Soft voices tell her to calm, to lie down and to relax – _You're safe, it's fine, he'll survive – _but she won't calm down and she won't fall asleep. If she does, he´ll disappear and…

There's a cool, familiar hand on her head, dark black eyes and brown skin and the scent of books and blood and night, and she falls, away from reality and into darkness, still struggling to stay awake.

She survives, and Cassidy does, as well, but he takes a long time to recover whereas she is able to leave the Sanctuary after five days. She only returns three weeks later, and she returns when she knows nobody is there except the sick and the injured.

* * *

Cassidy is asleep.

His red and blond hair is tangled and his face without his glasses seems so much younger and vulnerable. His breathing is even and soft. There's nothing indicating that he's hurt except the healing gashes in his face – and Teresa knows there's more of it underneath the covers, a broken hand, a deep wound in his side, a few broken ribs that almost punctured his lungs, cuts and slashes all over his body. She's fought him so often she knows him better than herself, but she can't – she doesn't want – to imagine him with all those new scars. The moonlight falls into the small chamber, there are little rooms in the back of the sanctuary. He sleeps peacefully. She feels jealousy and pushes it back down, tries to bury it next to all those feelings she has been fighting for so long. Even though he looks fragile and young and hurt, it's still Cassidy. She knows, and her whole body knows as well.

She just stands there, looking down on him, fighting the urge to touch him and make sure he's still warm and _alive_. The impulse comes from nowhere and her body reacts before she can stop it.

And then she freezes, because his eyes are open, and he's smiling at her.

"Hey."

* * *

Cassidy feels the smile fade from his face. He wanted to ask if she was fine, if she wasn't hurt by the demons. He wanted to ask her so many things as soon as he saw her again. But all questions die when he hears her slipping into his room far past midnight, because he realizes _nothing_ is alright. She just stands there, staring down at him, and he doesn't move. But then she reaches out to touch him, her lips brush his, soft and gentle like a feather, and then they're staring at each other wordlessly.

"I just wanted to check on you," she finally manages.

"I'm perfectly well. _Now_", he adds, smirking, and her fists clench. He knows he's making her angry, but for some reason it's the only reaction he can show, and it's the only reaction she can deal with. Her eyes are blazing.

"I…"

She's at a loss for words and he's not going to help her with that. She's not good with words when it comes down to them, and he knows that as well.

"Get back to earth," she snaps at him. "You were _dying." _

* * *

She's serious; she completely freaked when she saw him there, on the ground, injured and bleeding and unconscious. She can't remember _anything_ of the fight, just the overpowering need to end it so she could take him to the Sanctuary as fast as possible. The sudden, gut-wrenching fear of losing him…

* * *

Teresa turns on her heel and runs. He doesn't try to stop her. His voice follows her down the dark corridor.

"It's okay, Rese. It'll be fine. It's not your fault."

She hears his words and wants to scream.

* * *

Cassidy listens to her footsteps.

_It will be fine_.

It's the only thing they can believe in, the only thing that keeps them upright during dark nights. They are hunters. They'll go out and hunt and fight, go down and get up time and time again.

They can just hope they'll be together as long as possible.


	2. Reminders

**Reminders**

_Summary: KissingTheRainSeries Part2: Rese reminds Cassidy of many things. Not all are necessarily good. _

_Warnings: -_

_Set: story-unrelated, future-fic_

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* * *

_

Rese reminds Cassidy of many things.

Mostly, they're small things, little incidents that he remembers when she does something or says something or looks at someone in her unique way. Sometimes memories come with her voice, her movements or her hands, and she doesn't even have to look at him or touch him or talk to him in order to make these tiny little things come rushing back at him like a breathtaking tidal wave.

It's strange, because most of the things he remembers in those situations are neither important nor life-saving. But they flash in front of his eyes nevertheless, mocking and alluring and sad and elating and frustrating all at once.

* * *

They're sitting at the dinner table, enjoying the dinnerTen and Nadya have prepared. Rese is carefully watching for Mar and Jaq to eat enough and, at the same time, bitching at Jay because the red-blond boy just can't stop making fun of her.

Cassidy is reminded of her first terrible attempt to prepare dinner by herself.

It's the way she looks down onto the dish and there's a tiny bitter smile on her lips, a smile that disappears within seconds, but he has already seen it. He remembers the way the kitchen looked – _dirt-splattered, stinking, a grey cloud hanging in the air – _and the way she screamed at them to leave the room – _Ten is laughing, Mar is near tears, Jaq is bone-white and Jay can't stop teasing her – _so she can clean up. He watches her from the door and she's not crying, but she is near tears.

* * *

He is reminded of her cat-fights with Jay every time he looks at Rese watching their three sleeping – no, _dying – _friends. Her face is as mask: nothing is shown, neither her feelings nor her thoughts. He knows she's blaming herself for what happened to them.

He thinks of how they used to throw insults at each other from across the room, ignoring each other pointedly and not crossing into the other half. Jay has his arms crossed, his entire stature crying out _arrogance!_ Rese is seething quietly or, alternatively, punching holes into the wall. He can't remember the reason why they're fighting and he doubts they can, either, but the way they're ignoring each other so pointedly shows how much they actually like each other.

* * *

Cass remembers their training sessions whenever he sees her move.

She moves gracefully, with a cat-like elegance: both beautiful and dangerous. He is reminded of her inability to lose, her refusal to give up and her energy and strength. He sees her hand push away a strand of dark hair and remembers it swishing through the air; he sees her toss her head and remembers her victorious face when she gains the upper hand on him.

He also is reminded of the fights they fought together. The way her shoulders set show when she's angry with herself, the way her hands fist a clear indication to her blaming herself. Cass watches her and remembers all the things they have lost.

* * *

Whenever she looks at him with _that_ special look in her eyes, he is reminded of his curse.

Because, whatever the people say, it's not _ability_. It's a curse. He never wanted it, and he hates it, the same way he hates the concern and the worry in Rese's eyes. It's not fear, at least, but he knows there _should_ be at least some traces of it in her eyes. They both know he'd never use it on them, _on her_, but they both know one never knows what might happen. Rese seldom mentions it, but sometimes, her concern shines through her armor. Especially when Ten or Marina are near.

He hates it. He really, really hates it.

Because it's her, and because she's not afraid for herself. Sometimes, he wishes he could simply disappear whenever she reminds him of it. Mostly he just wishes he never had it.

* * *

When he sees Rese sitting at Mar's bed, holding the little girl and talking to her softly, he is reminded of how she has nightmares, too.

But she doesn't allow anyone to hold her or to talk to her. He remembers the one time he found her, when they both were six years old, but she hasn't allowed him to comfort her ever again. Sometimes, he finds her in the dark living-room, hugging herself on the sofa that seems too big for her, and she looks so small. But the only thing she allows him to do is to sit down on the far side of the couch and remain silent until she falls asleep. The one time he carried her into her own bed after that, she didn't talk to him for days.

* * *

But Rese doesn't only remind him of things, sometimes things remind him of her.

Whenever Cass sees her hurt and injured, he's reminded of how dangerous their life really is. It doesn't matter if it's just a small scratch or _Veres_ or a huge gash in her side and a fractured skull. He remembers they're hunters, and death is their constant companion. He remembers they're creatures of the night, in a way of thinking, and they never will be able to live like normal humans in broad daylight. Their life is a life of killing, hunting and fighting, even if the treaty is in place.

Because the night doesn't care about treaties.

He is reminded of Rese in a white hospital bed, of Rese as a little child, crying silently. He is reminded of Rese unconscious and death-still on the floor. He thinks of Rese and Rese and Rese when he sees the little child that is killed by the rippers he is hunting, when he sees the remains of the family torn to pieces by werewolves, the weirn that has given in to madness.

He is reminded of Rese when he kills the siblings that have been turned to vampires and started killing people because they don't know what happens and are afraid and want to stay together no matter what. When he hunts down an old, sick werewolf that has been abandoned by his pack and is forced to hunt his own prey in order to survive. When the insane weirn pleads him to kill it so it won't kill the people precious to it.

* * *

Cass sees those things and he is reminded of Rese and then, suddenly, he remembers something else. He remembers it every day, he can't help it.

It's quite simple.

He's a hunter. He is _death_. He brings death, and death is his only future. There's not a day he's not reminded of it.

* * *

But it's when Rese is sitting on the stairs in the dark hall, waiting for him to return in the morning, when she leads him upstairs and carefully cleans his wounds and the blood and her soft, strong hands touch his face gently, when she takes off his glasses and he closes his eyes and feels her lips on his and her body _so close_, that she reminds him that he is alive.

* * *

_Notice how I skipped the topic with Cass's eyes quite elegantly? _


	3. Kissing the Rain

**Kissing the Rain**

_Summary: KissingTheRainSeries Part3: Four times Cass didn't tell Rese he loved her. The time he did, she hit him._

_Warnings: References to "Nightmares", "Drowning" and "Time and Time again", my other Night School stories. Can be read as stand-alone, though. Again – a one shot composed of different scenes from Cass's point of view. It works so well! If you don't like that particular style, last chance to run!_

_Set: story-unrelated, in the future._

_The title is from a book I saw yesterday, by Kevin Brooks. I own neither the title nor Night School. If I did, strange things would happen…_

_

* * *

_

Fighting Rese sometimes could be a painful experience.

Watching her most certainly was.

Cassidy does it anyway. He has watched her since he has known her, somewhere around the time they both were six or seven. He still watches her today. Sometimes, he feels the words linger on tip of his tongue, or far behind in his mind yet ready to be spoken out loud. But he has never said them, although there have been many moments in which he wanted to.

* * *

The first time the words plop into his mind is – if he remembers correctly – the day Rese insists she was old enough to go out hunting without Teacher's supervision. They both were probably twelve, and everyone else had obediently listened to Teacher's orders, had studied and trained during the day and slept right now.

Everyone, except for Rese.

No, Rese gathers her gear and tries to slip out of the front door. Cass is already waiting for her.

"You can't go."

"Stop me," she challenges him and shifts into battle stance, as if she expects him to attack immediately. Cass knows she's able to swipe the floor with him and he knows he's able to stop her anyway. They're evenly matched. But Rese is a force of nature and anyone who ever tried to stop a hurricane knows it's a dangerous feat. So he just shakes his head and nods towards the street.

"I have your back."

"I don't need…"

"It's either my backup or me binding you to your bed."

He should have known this was a bad idea, because as much as they've learned the last five years, they're still kids and the vampires they run into don't even take them seriously – until Rese turns the first one to dust without warning. The remaining two take them down, but when they want to bite them, they're burned by their hunter's protection. Which is the only reason they stay alive this time, this and the fact that Teacher appears right there when a vampire stabs Rese with her own dagger. Cass has a minor concussion and bruises all over his body, and Rese's lung is punctured and she's in surgery for four hours and has to stay in the Sanctuary for a week. Teacher doesn't talk to her for two weeks, which is even worse for her, and Cass sits at her bed and watches her sleeping figure shift under the blankets. The words weren't there, because he was young and inexperienced and he didn't know what to say in order to express those things he was thinking when he saw her sleeping face. And anyway, he didn't want to wake her. But he remembered them some time later and wondered whether they were some cliché or just the honest emotions he was feeling.

* * *

The next time he thinks of them again is when Teacher takes them to the sea one weekend. Maybe he wants them to relax some time, maybe he has second thoughts. But if he has, he keeps them to himself for the entire time. He takes them to a tiny little house at the seaside, unlocks the door and leads them into an even tinier living-room, complete with a fire-side and old, comfortable armchairs, a huge table and crowded bookshelves. The kitchen is so small the person inside has to leave the room backwards to let someone else enter, and there are only three rooms upstairs: one for the girls, one for the boys and one for Teacher. Marina squeals in delight and Nadya even smiles, Ten immediately goes for the antique weapons hanging at the walls, Jay and Terrence discover an ancient game of chess and Jaq chooses a random book from the shelf and sinks into an armchair. Cass knows where to look for Rese when she disappears later that evening: he finds her at the sea shore, her feet bare, her entire body stock-still in the light of the slowly sinking sun. The wind plays with her hair and she looks like a goddess – or something like that. Carefully, he steps closer and she swirls around.

"Cass," she sighs when she sees him. Cassidy grins.

"What are you doing here?"

Interestingly, she blushes. Maybe she's aware of the fact that she's the one who's least expected to love the sea, because she's loud, energetic, and impatient, everything the ocean isn't. But she's unaware of the fact that he thinks she's _exactly_ like the ocean: she's unpredictable and cool and deep and dangerous and impossible to catch and caring – if nobody pays attention.

As an answer, she just shrugs. They stand there, for a while, not talking at all. At last, Rese brushes a few strands of hair from her face and sighs quietly.

"It's beautiful, isn't it."

Cass looks at her from the side and thinks she's even more beautiful, in her worn-out T-shirt and her shorts. There they are again, those words, but she's so peaceful at that moment he doesn't want to irritate or anger her. Or scare her. So he forces them back even though it hurts and watches the light of the dying sun turn her hair into black flames.

"Yeah."

* * *

They seem to accompany him, those unsaid words, something he wants to forget but is unable to. Sometimes, he's so close to speaking them he has to leave the room so as to not blurt out with them. Sometimes he sees her laughing at one of Marina's jokes; sometimes he sees her seething with anger over some stupid orders the council forces on them, sometimes she's just plainly annoyed with Jay's frequent tries to play pranks on her. One time, he almost chokes on them, needing to say them but not wanting to.

* * *

He's afraid.

Afraid something might change, afraid she'd not be like she always is around him once he says them, so he doesn't. He reminds himself the evening he finds her in front of his door, her arms around her knees, her head on her arms, and she doesn't move even though he has to step over her to get something to drink. They had been fighting that day, the first time for a long, long time, and he's still angry with her. They went on a routine patrol and encountered a pack of renegade werewolves who didn't give a damn shit on the pact. Rese had forgotten they were with Marina and had thrown them into a fight they almost hadn't survived. She had her reasons, he knew and he understood, but she had reacted without thinking once again, had given in to her instincts and he couldn't let her do something like that again. Since he couldn't stop her the way he wanted to, because Rese was hot-headed and impatient, he had told her he'd leave their team. He was serious. Rather than watching her destroy herself without being able to help, he'd leave her, even though the thought burned like acid. But then she was sitting in front of his door and he felt the mad urge to wrap his arms around her, to tell her everything was alright, to hold her and to never let her go.

Rese wasn't herself that evening. She cried, and she pleaded with him to stay, and he was reminded of the little, six-year-old girl he had known. He promised her he'd stay, she promised him she'd be more careful and he held her while she cried without a sound in the dark, moonlit hallway. He could have said the words right then and there, but he didn't dare to. He wouldn't break her further than he had done already this evening.

* * *

They had an … _interesting_ … relationship, to say the least.

They were co-leaders of their team of hunters. They were childhood friends. They were fire and water, calmness and energy and brain and sword. They were very different and had many things in common, like the fact that even after thirteen years of hunting, they still were alive. Something they couldn't say about a few of their old friends, a fact that made Cass clench his teeth and Rese punch holes into walls. It felt like a betrayal, still being alive and able to be together when so many other hunters had been denied that little solace. It felt like they had cared too much about each other and too little about the others. It felt _wrong_. Still, neither one of them was able to let go. Grown-up and allowed to hunt on their own, mostly doing so, but they still seemed to gravitate towards each other like two stars on collision course.

One of those missions they took together was to hunt down and eliminate two nightmare demons, creatures that fed on human energy and flesh and let their prey see the things they were most afraid of. They finally lured them into an empty house and trapped them in a lightning cage. Everything had been fine so far and Cass just wanted to drain the energy out of the barrier and out of the demons when Rese froze. Somehow – he didn't know how and she didn't know either – the demons had managed to forego the barrier, to force their way into Rese's mind. Even if Cass had no idea what she was seeing, what she was feeling, he knew it had to be pretty bad because it gave the demons enough energy to break through the barrier. He had put down his weapons next to the door when he started to work. And the demons were attacking Rese.

Cass woke up two days later in a Sanctuary. He had so many injuries he didn't want to count them, his head hurt terribly and the acid taste of bad dreams still lingered in his mouth. A veiled figure checked him and gave him a bitter-tasting potion and he fell asleep again, fear cursing through him when he remembered he hadn't asked if Rese was okay.

She was okay, he learned when he came around the next time, but it wasn't until three week later he saw her again. She slipped into the room, long past midnight, a shadow on the moonlit walls. He woke up when a soft hand carefully, painfully hesitant, touched his face. Then, soft lips touched his. He smiled up into her face, widened with shock, when she saw he was awake.

"Hey", he whispered. Rese froze, jerking her hand away and clenching her fists at her sides.

"I was just checking on you."

There were a million unsaid words under that simple sentence and he could hear every single one. Pain. Blame. Fear. Huge, boundless fear.

He could have said them then, those words he had firmly held in his heart. He could have told her it was okay, that he was alright, that she shouldn't blame herself for his injuries. He could have told her he always wanted to be with her, he didn't care much about what happened to him as long as she was safe. He could have told her he loved her – but instead, he said: "I'm perfectly well. _Now."_

And smirked.

_Way to go, Cass. Now she's angry._

_

* * *

_

He didn't see her for three years.

She was away, somewhere in Europe, doing business for the council and as hard as he tried, he couldn't find a way to contact her. She had cut off every string that attached her to their old life, she hadn't left a number or contact address and whenever he tried to get the council to spill the beans they told him to contact the bureau of foreign affairs. Which told him to contact some executive, who told him to contact the third ambassador, who told him to contact the embassy in France – _so she has gone back_ – that told him to contact the Council. It was a vicious circle and he gave up after three months. She had left. There was nothing he could do.

He didn't feel like doing _anything _anymore.

He didn't even feel like living, but he was a hunter and he had obligations and there were other things to live for. Like Marina's smile when he agrees to be the godfather of her new-born daughter or Teacher's smirks when Cass finally beat him in a fight, or Jaq's triumphant expression of _The-hell-I-care-about-winning _when he hammers Cass's into the ground in their weekly chess matches.

He has almost come to terms with Rese's absence – well, not really, but he manages to drown it out barely enough to continue living almost normally – when Ten calls him one evening and tells him to come to the sea house. She gives no explanation.

The house is familiar and quiet and dark and he shrugs and thinks maybe Ten is a bit late. So he leaves his bag in the car and makes his way down the stairs to the beach. The sunset is gorgeous, as it was all those years ago, and the beach is as empty. Only at the far end of the golden sand, where waves are licking at it, he can see a dark figure – dancing? Dark hair swirls around her as she gracefully moves through a series of movements. Slowly, Cass moves nearer, his heart beating fast. No, the person isn't dancing – he knows those movements; they are so familiar it hurts. It's a _kata_, a combination of movements taken from various different fighting styles she has mastered. Her eyes are closed and she's fully concentrated. Cass sinks down onto the cool, wet sand and watches her.

And, suddenly, they are there. They sit on the tip of his tongue, screaming to be released, and he gives in without even thinking about it.

"I love you."

Instantaneous reaction.

Rese, utterly surprised, whirls around, her fist flies in direction of the voice and connects solidly with his outstretched hand.

They stare at each other, Cass smiling, Rese in shock. Then in recognition. Then in disbelief.

"Cass! What the hell… Where… How… What…"

She wants to ask _What the hell are you doing here _and _Where did you come from now_ and _How did you know how to find me _and, of course, _What did you say_ – all at once. He sees the questions flittering cross her features; her eyes still mirroring shock… And something else. Cass decides the answers for most of the questions will have to wait.

"I said I love you."

* * *

There.

He has said it. Suddenly, he feels free – relieved and free and full of happiness, because he can finally tell her what he feels. Because she finally is back. He doesn't pause to wonder why she has come back, or if she will stay, whether she feels the same for him, whether she has fallen in love with some other guy those last three years. He doesn't think about what affect those words will have. He just wants to say them and say them quickly because from the look in her eyes, flight reflexes are kicking in. He still holds her hand though, the small fist trembling slightly in his bigger one.

"You can't say hi like any other normal person?" She snaps at him. He merely smiles.

"Welcome back."

"What the hell are you doing here, talking nonsense?"

"So?" He pulls up his brows. "You think I'm talking nonsense?"

He can't hide his smile. Her expression is full of confusion, anger and embarrassment – and he loves her so much he feels like he will burst. He has always loved her and will always love her. He pauses quickly to think about something. There's nothing to lose, he concludes, and dashes forward.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

She blushes hotly. "That's none of your business!"

He knows her well enough to know it as a no. "Are you in love with someone somewhere else?"

He has phrased it carefully. She stares at him threateningly, but he doesn't give up. Her eyes fall and she gives an imperceptible shake of her head. His heart is beating so fast she _has_ to hear it.

"Okay. So now I tell you I love you. And I want you to stay with me."

She doesn't look at him. Only the muscles in her throat work quietly. Her dark hair is full of sand, he notices. She takes so long he already starts to lose faith when a tiny sound escapes her lips.

"What?" He asks, equally hopeful and dreading.

"That took you some time!" She snaps at him.

* * *

Fighting Rese is an exhilarating experience, even after years and years of shared training. It's even better now she is back and he knows he can fight her (_see her_, _feel her_) anytime he wants to. They collapse on the wet, cool sand, panting and exhausted, so close they can feel the heat on the other's skin. Kissing her is even better. Her lips are sweet and salty at the same time, warm and soft and wet from the water from her water bottle she has just poured over her head.

It feels like kissing the rain.

It's addictive.

Cassidy does it anyway.

* * *

A/N And the award for betaing the worst texts ever in means of punctuation and run-on sentences goes to Snowlia!^^ Thank you so much - and you, who you are reading this.


	4. Off Guard, Part One

**Off guard, Part One  
**

_Summary: KissingTheRainSeries Part4: Rese hates to be caught off guard. Subsequently, the consequences the ones __suffer __that do catch her unprepared are tremendous. But sometimes, people are innocent…  
_

_Warning: Rated T for… A T-relationship. Mildly, though. And humor. Probably German one, which isn't necessarily bad if you don't have humongous prejudices. Be warned that it is MY sense of humor – which should be even worse^^ If this isn't to your liking… Last chance to run!_

_Set: story-unrelated, future fic_

_

* * *

_

Rese is seldom caught off guard.

She makes sure it stays that way. She simply doesn't like to be surprised – she hates surprises – and like every good hunter she likes to know what is going on and what is happening. Unpredictable events are nuisances, and so are people she can't predict.

There are a few exceptions to the rule, but then, she knows Cass so well she doesn't mind if he surprises her now and then. She just makes sure he always takes care not to do so in public.

The sun is warming her face.

Rese wakes up slowly, feeling the warmth of the sunlight and the heavy weight of the covers. Her body is heavy, the heaviness of having slept long and deeply. She can't remember her dreams – but she can remember last night and the memories are enough to make her smile in her dazed state. She is fully aware of where she is. This place is the one place she belongs, the one place she can be herself entirely.

She feels… _Peaceful._ The warmth inside her doesn't come from the sun or the thick bed covers.

Normally, she never stays in bed long after she has woken up. Rese never was able to lie in bed, not sleeping but now awake, either. She immediately gets up, chasing away sleep with iron will. Sleep is a waste of time, though it is necessary.

She can't say the same about last night.

_Cass_.

His hands. His skin. His breath. His lips.

She can still feel them on her, can feel him next to her, hear his slow breathing. She blushes deeply as the memories return vividly but the sense of _rightness_ can't be chased away that easily. They've been training partners for more than ten years, and she has knows his body like her own. Every scar, every birth mark. Or at least, that´s what she thought before last night.

The breathing next to her changes, and she can hear the soft shuffling of the blankets as the person next to her moves. Rese smiles sleepily, stretching like a cat.

"Cass…"

Her hand reaches across the bed to touch him; to be sure he still is there.

She freezes as she finds nothing.

"Cass?"

Now she's fully awake, but her eyes take some time to get used to the brilliant light falling through the window. She sits up in his bed, hugging the covers to her naked body, blinking owlishly. The soft giggle that can be heard from the other side of the bed makes her freeze once again.

Because it's_ not _Casswho is next her.

She turns her head and sees Ten staring at her, grinning widely.

"Good Morning, Sleeping Beauty."

Utterly speechless – and she's seldom at a loss for words – Rese stares at her friend. She's in Cass's room – in his _bed, _for heaven's sake, and completely _naked_ – and Ten is watching her, stretched out on the other side. Grinning from ear to ear.

_At least she's dressed._

"What the hell are you doing here?" Rese wants to shout, but her voice is a panicked, high-pitched scream that echoes through the open door. Her first instinctisto scramble from the bed, but she still remembers she's not… _decent._

It shouldn't have been possible, but Ten's smile grows even wider.

"I was looking for you, but you weren't in your room. And I dimly remembered you already where home yesterday evening, and nobody left the house during night, so you had to be somewhere… And guess where I found you. What a surprise. I always thought you were way too dense."

"_What are you talking about?"_

"You know, the thing about Cass loving you. I thought you'd never notice. You didn't notice you loved him all the time… But here you are and it seems everything has turned out wonderfully! I have to tell Marina and Nadya immediately…"

She attempts jumping down from the bed.

Rese forgets the fact that she only has a blanket for cover and grabs her best friend.

"No way you're going to tell anybody! If you do, I'll personally see that you are killed in the most painful, excruciatingly torturous way I can ever come up with!"

Ten isn't even slightly impressed by the sight of a naked woman and the feeling of two strong hands knotted into her shirt.

"Come on, Rese. You don't really think we haven't noticed, do you? Even Jay, that idiot, has noticed the way you look at each other. And _that _means a lot."

Rese shakes her.

"You're not going to tell anyone!"

A snicker from the doorway makes her look up and blanch to a deathly white. Jay is grinning full blast; Jaq has both his eye brows raised so high they almost disappear in his hair. Terrence is looking the other direction, having a hard time keeping himself from laughing, his ears suspiciously red.

Rese stares at them, horror-struck.

Ten snickers, too.

"Your face is worth a thousand dollar today, Rese! You should have seen yourself – all sleepy and dreamy and probably thinking of…"

"OUSTE!" Rese screams, not even noticing that she is falling into French. "Get out! Get out! _Get out immediately!_"

Hoisting Ten up at the collar of her shirt and pushing her away, she sends her stumbling towards the door. The woman catches herself before she can bump into Jay and looks back, still laughing.

"Don't throw a fit, Rese, it's okay. We're happy for you, honestly we…"

"GET OUT! NOW!"

Terrence has already disappeared, Jaq follows suit. Ten marches past Jay and, sadly, isn't able to hear his comment, but the next moment, he has ducked and one of Rese's daggers buries itself into the wall on the other side of the hallway with a loud _thunk_. Jay laughs and runs; and the door falls closed behind him.

-V-

Ten minutes later, Cass appeared, his hair wet, a towel slung across his shoulders, and found Rese had left his and locked herself in her room. Bewildered and hurt, he went downstairs, where Ten and the others greeted him with wide smiles. That was when he had an idea what might have happened in his brief absence.

Catching Rese off guard was something that was worth the trouble, Ten decided after she and Jay had stopped laughing because their stomach ached and their lips felt like they had been grinning for an entire week. It had been so much fun to see the normally cold and detached woman sleepy and without her usual armor and then losing her calm – it reminded them of the way she had been years before, wild and impatient. It was well worth the trouble they'd most likely find themselves in soon…

But Rese didn't leave her room that day, and so the two delinquents escaped heavenly wrath for once.

Cass probably got the worst out of it all. Rese didn't let him into her bed for the entire week.


	5. Absolutes

**Absolutes**

_Friday of Strange Updates, #6_**  
**

_Summary: KissingTheRainSeries Part5: There is no shame in losing. Rese needed years to understand. Now she believes. OneShot._

_Warnings: Rese and Cass. Last chance to run._

_Set: Story-unrelated, future-fic_

_Disclaimer: I own a bag of laundry that has to be done. I don't own Night School._

_

* * *

_

The concept of losing has always been foreign to Teresa.

It is not that she does not understand that in a fight, there only are the victorious and the defeated. It is an ancient principle: The law of survival of the strongest. And that is something she is painfully familiar with. It also is not the fact that she is too strong, that she always wins her fights.

No. The truth is: Rese simply _refuses_ to lose.

All of her friends have made – in one way or another – the same experience: fighting Rese is futile if you do so for other reasons than merely for training. She is a great sparring partner and passes as a reasonably qualified teacher. But she is a terrible loser.

She hates to lose.

She _refuses_ to lose.

Her mixture of stubbornness, instinct and ability make it impossible for her to even consider a defeat.

* * *

Mostly, it is Cassidy who has to bear the consequences of her pride. They are joint leaders and he is her regular sparring partner. As such, he suffers the greatest damage. A training fight is never harmless and they all sport black and purple bruises after a serious sparring session. And sometimes even worse.

But fights between Rese and Cass are well worth watching.

Yes, Cass is as strong as she is, but while Rese fights by instinct and speed he also fights with his brains. For this reason, he mostly is able to win the upper hand at one point.

At which Rese somehow manages to send him flying into the next wall because she knows she is defeated.

She truly is a horrible looser.

* * *

They fight.

Black hair swishes around, hands and feet blur in motion as two trained hunters give everything they have. A fist connects. A kick is dodged. They circle each other, eyes never leaving the opponent. Then they move again, two dark shadows close enough to touch but still not touching. For normal human beings the fight is too fast to follow, the movements too quick to catch their meaning. The emotions swirling beyond the surface are illegible. For hunters the adrenaline is in the knowledge that the fight _really i_s that fast. That every movement, every touch, can be seen as in slow-motion, that every emotion is as clear as crystal. There is nothing that can be hidden from the opponent if one truly fights each, fights with every fiber of one's being. For Rese, fighting is a proof that she is alive. Fighting with Cass is to make sure _he_ is alive, as well. For Cass, fighting is a way to evaluate the enemy. Fighting Rese is an evaluation of his oldest friend's and lover's sentiments.

For both, fighting each other is exhilarating.

This time, Cassidy manages to get the better on Teresa after thirty minutes of constant, lightning-fast and strained fighting and pins her to the ground. She is supposed to be unable to move, his legs holding down hers, his body blocking her movements. His hands grab her wrists. Immediately, he tenses, knowing she will try to throw him off. She's already looking for the tiniest breach in his defense, already using everything she has in order to turn her defeat into a victory.

Rese lies underneath him. His body is pressed hard against hers, their features aligned perfectly. She feels Cass tense in order to be prepared for whatever might come next. His breathing is fast and heavy. She can hear her blood rushing in her ears and his heart beating loudly. She can _feel_ it. She is breathing equally ragged, her chest heaving and falling, her brow coated in sweat. Her hands are locked in his grip, her legs can't move. He weights her down heavily, his eyes only centimeters away from her face. He's looking at her, prepared to react to whatever she has in store for him…

Cassidy looks at her and wonders what she is up to this time.

Rese just looks back.

* * *

There is no shame in losing.

She finally has understood and it was Cass who has shown her, even if he hasn't realized yet. There is no reason to be afraid of losing. She has lost herself in him, in those few weeks they have been together. But the terror of being lost never came because it was Cass and because he was _there._ Her fear of giving up herself, of giving herself to someone else has dissipated under his touch, his soft voice, his mere presence, and she doesn't think she'll ever mistake losing as a gesture of subordination any more. She has needed twenty years to finally come to understand. Now she believes.

When she doesn't move, doesn't make an attempt to punch him into the nearest wall, Cass looks down at her in surprise and finds volumes written in her eyes. Understanding dawns in his and the smile on his lips is almost too much for Rese to bear. Still, she has learned to let him take the alternative, not only because he wants to but because she needs him to. He leans down carefully, feeling her body tight and warm against his, and kisses her. Her lips are soft and inviting and her heart is still beating wildly. As soon as his hands let go of her arms, they wrap around his shoulders in a tight embrace. Cassidy savors her taste and never wants to stop kissing her.

The wooden floor is hard in her back, pressing against her shoulder blades. Cassidy's lean, muscular body above hers covers her completely, presses against her in his reassuring weight that almost takes her breath away. His kisses do take it.

* * *

"Oh no," Jay moans and peeks trough the half-closed door into the training room. "God help us, not here! Please not here!"

Ten throws in a look as well and smirks. "Give them credit, they have been behaving well in public. I almost didn't notice they got together."

"It's difficult to keep such a secret in a house full of hunters," Nadya comments and watches her two leaders critically. "But I agree. You'd expect they'd be unable to take their eyes off one another."

"I was thinking more along the lines of keeping their hands off each other, not their eyes," Jay replies. Marina blushes deeply.

"They behave just normal! Shut up!"

Jaq rolls his eyes. "Do we have to cluster around the door like that and watch them? It's disgraceful."

"Let's go," Terrence agrees, his ears slightly red. Nobody notices. "Let them have _some_ privacy. You've been poking your noses into their relationship for the past three weeks."

"Which might explain why they've had a hard time," Nadya whispers quietly. Ten shrugs and turns back from the door.

"I really didn't notice they were together. They behaved just like always."

"That's the way it should be," Marina says and backs away as well. "For them, being together is normal. They belong together."

"You don't regret it?" Jay mocks her.

Marina throws him an angry look. "Of course I don't! I just want them to be happy…"

"Yeah, whatever," Jaq tells them and marches down the staircase, his hands in his pockets. "Let's get back to what we were doing before Ten called us here to leer at some people as if we didn't have our own live. Personally, I have more interesting matters to attend."

"Don't we all," Terrence mumbles and follows his fellow hunters down the stairs. He throws one last look towards the door leading to their training halls and mumbles something under his breath. It sounds suspiciously like

"You'd better protect her."

* * *

Winning and losing aren't absolutes.

Rese understands now. She'll never forget. Though she still hammers anyone into the wall who dares to insult her or train with her.

Except for Cassidy.

Well, mostly, at least.


	6. Birthday Presents

**Birthday presents**

_Summary: KissingTheRainSeries Part3: Sometimes, Rese feels like beating up someone. Badly.  
_

_Warning: (Almost) Totally failed attempt at romance. Try writing something fluffy and romantic when the characters hate it! Last chance to run…_

_Set: story-unrelated, future fic_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Night School._

_

* * *

_

There were several reasons for the fact that Rese was awake, dressed and geared up for her routine patrolling duty three hours before it began.

First, she hated sleeping. It was a waste of time.

Second, she couldn't wait to get out of the house she had spent the last two days in. And nights.

And third, she needed to beat up someone. She needed it badly.

"Hey, Rese!" Ten greeted her when she slipped down the stairs. The dark-skinned woman was carrying an old, sturdy battle axe which she whirled around expertly. There was no blood on its blade.

"How was the hunt?" Rese asked, already knowing the answer, and moved through the kitchen towards the coffee machine. The smell of hot coffee lifted her spirits. A tiny little bit. It didn't do anything against her bad mood, though.

"Boring. A vamp lady on her way to the cemetery, but nothing suspicious. It's quiet these days."

Rese snorted contemptuously. Ten threw her a sharp glance.

"You aren't in the best mood today. Don't get stupid ideas, Rese! Remember the treaty."

"Of course. The treaty," Rese said, her mind already elsewhere. Her long fingers unconsciously touched the daggers she carried. Ten grinned.

"You've been twitchy the whole month. And just because there's someone…"

"This has nothing to do with Cassidy," Rese snapped at her friend and almost shattered the coffee cup when she set it back unto the table hard. "I'm leaving."

"May the paths lead you safely," Ten called after her. "And, Rese. Happy Birthday."

Rese waved a hand over her shoulder in thanks.

* * *

It wasn't that she was angry nobody celebrated her birthday. In fact, Teresa didn't care about her birthday much. Marina was away with Nadya, on a mission. Jaq and Jay were patrolling somewhere else, and Cassidy and Terrence had been taken onto a journey by Teacher and were supposed to return the next days. _Or nights._ Of course, they had congratulated her, but it wasn't congratulations she wanted. Since she had started her training as a hunter, birthdays always had come last in a long list of other things: training, and hunting, and saving the world, occasionally, and training. But now, the new treaty was in power, and nights' creatures still walked like on egg shells in case they'd anger a hunter, and there was not much to do. Which left the hunters to sitting around, staring at walls, or doing routine patrols instead. Most went for the patrols.

Rese was the first to volunteer.

She didn't know why she was in such a bad mood herself.

She had slept (no nightmares, so far, so good), she had awakened, had showered and gotten dressed. She'd listened to Jay singing a mock version of "Happy Birthday" merely for his own amusement (and to annoy her), she had thanked Jaq for the really delicious-looking cake and had quickly talked to Marina and Nadya via the little scrying pool the seer had set up in the attic. Then she had sat down and started to think what she could do to spend the time until it was her turn to go out. She found nothing. There was nobody there she could talk to. And she couldn't just train, she neither had a sparring partner nor was she allowed to exert herself in training before she left for duty. Maybe that was the main reason.

(The missing partner? The overexertion thing? She decided not to think about it too closely.)

* * *

She stepped onto the dimly lit streets and tensed when two wind spirits rushed past, tangled in her hair, laughed and rushed part. She cursed herself. Shaking off – or trying to, at least – the irrational feeling of anger and betrayal, she focused her entire being on the hunt and began to make her way along the dark paths she knew by heart. The city seemed to be sleeping. Though she had no doubts there were other nocturnal creatures besides herself on the streets, she neither sensed nor heard nor saw any. Slowly calming down, she made her way through the city, following the invisible hunters' paths, keeping a watchful eye on her surroundings.

* * *

"Hey, Rese."

A dark, tall figure emerged from the shadows and while her mind still processed whom it was she saw, her body already froze before the daggers could leave her hands.

"Cass? What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Mexico?"

Cassidy stepped into the light of the next street lamp.

"I asked Teacher to return earlier. He didn't mind. Terrence will be back tomorrow night."

"Why didn't you go home?"

"Because…"

Before he was able to answer, a shrill screeching interrupted them and something fell from the sky, dove at Cass, missed him by centimeters and thanks to his reflexes and pulled up with a triumphant scream. A _swoosh_ of wind tore at their clothes.

"Stupid birds!" Rese cursed and stared up at the dark sky. "Where did that one come from? We hadn't had them in town for the last two years!"

Another shriek was heard and a dark shadow crossed the moon.

"Viria-Demons?" Cass asked, his forehead creased. "What are those doing here?"

"I don't know," Rese said hotly, watching their surroundings carefully. "Maybe it has been separated – Watch out!"

On the wide street, there wasn't much that prevented the gigantic monster from attacking them directly. Rese automatically looked for shelter and concluded the lone bus stop on the other side wouldn't do. With another scream, the demon-bird turned towards them and rocketed earthwards.

Four daggers and a katana embedded itself into the demon's huge body before it could swing itself into the air again. A scream pierced their eardrums as the bird crashed into the bus stop. Not wanting to think of how they would explain the damage to the Council later, Cass looked at Rese. She was clearly seething, if she hadn't been already before, and the fact that a _bird_ (even if partly demon) was _trying to kill them_ obviously didn't help to calm her mood.

"You know what?"

He stepped back and sheathed his sword.

"Take it down by yourself. See it as my birthday present."

She stared at him incredulous. _"What?"_

"My birthday present for you," he repeated, smirking. "You're allowed to kill it all by yourself. I'll just stand back and watch."

The look she threw him probably would have melted iron. Nevertheless, she took the screaming, spitting, biting, clawing and thrashing demon-bird down in seventy-nine seconds.

Cass watched her, still grinning. She threw him a nasty look, her chest heaving slightly from the fight. She had needed it – had needed it badly – but it irked her he knew her so well he could tell when she was upset and why. Especially since she herself had no idea why she was in such a bad mood.

"Maybe Mr. Generous wants to clean up the mess as well," she said scathingly. Cass chuckled. One day, he'd drive her crazy.

A few minutes later, he was busy burning the remains while she gathered together lose feathers and threw them into the fire. The blue Hunter's fire stank, but the flame wasn't visible to human eyes. When they were finished, she got up from her crouch and walked past him.

"I'll continue the patrol. Later."

Cass caught her by her upper right arm and made her whirl around to face him, and she hated the blush that crept into her face because he was so near.

"What?" She asked defiantly. Cass was smiling.

"Happy Birthday," he whispered and kissed her.

* * *

Kissing Cass was like experiencing a whole world of sensations.

His lips were soft, but insistent, his hands hot on her upper arms. He tasted like salt and fire and like Cass, and he smelled like soap. Rese let herself fall into his embrace without thinking. How long had it been since he had held her like that? His hands slipped up her arms and tangled in her hair. He had been away with Teacher for such a long time. She'd been cranky all day because the person she wanted to be there on her birthday most wasn't there, and then, suddenly, he appeared, proving he knew her better than even she knew herself, and…

She pushed him away.

"We have to get going," she mumbled, shame-faced, and tried to ignore the mixture of disappointment and amusement on his face. Why, she wondered, did he put up with her like that? Every time he touched her, she backed away, every time he was nice, her sharp comments destroyed everything. She hadn't asked for his love – she wanted it, _needed it_, but she hadn't _asked _for it – and still, he was there, offering everything to her as if she was able to give herself to him in the same way. One day, she knew, he'd be spent, and then he'd leave her, and she didn't want to think about what would happen then. She didn't, and she couldn't, there just was a long, dark tunnel if she tried. Angrily, she turned her back to him, trying to hide her trembling hands by fisting them, and again started to walk away from him.

Again, he caught her, this time wrapping both his arms around her shoulders from behind and pulling her back against him.

"Stop running, Rese," he said, his breath so close to her ear she shuddered involuntarily. "I'm not letting you leave. I already told you."

He had. Several times. Never in public, because she didn't want it, but always sincerely and full of conviction. Her reply had always been the same: she ran. Still, he had never given up on her.

She didn't want him to give up. She was plainly afraid he _would_. Maybe, if she allowed it, if she allowed herself to think she loved him, he would stop wanting her.

Something inside her shattered.

"You don't mean it," she almost shrieked. "You don't mean that!"

"I do."

"No. Yes. No. Maybe now. After some time you'll have enough and then you'll want to get rid of me. Nobody is able to stand me more than some time, not the others and not you! And then…"

"Why do you think I put up with you that long?" He asked calmly, making her want to kick him. Unfortunately, he was still holding her close. She could feel his heartbeat, steady and calm. If she wanted, she could break away from his embrace in no time, both knew it. Cassidy knew what it meant that she didn't. Rese wasn't sure.

"Tell me! I have no idea! I'm troublesome and bitchy and loud! All the things Nadya and Ten call me behind closed doors, all the things Jay says, it's all true! So why… Why…"

"You're troublesome. You always have to have the last word. You can pulverize my ribs with one kick. That's what you are, and that's why I love you."

"That's…. So cliché!"

Cass chuckled, sounding not the least as embarrassed as she did. "Even the part with my ribs?"

She seriously considered punching him.

"Let go of me."

His voice dropped to a low murmur.

"If you promise to stop running."

His quiet words made every muscle in her body want to run. Her heart was beating so fast she was close to hyperventilating.

"I… I…"

"And I'll promise you not to leave."

Rese wasn't able to think straight. For one, there still were his arms around her shoulders and his face buried in her hair and his body so close to hers. Second, her brain seemed to have shut down.

Why?

Why did he always know what scared her? Why did he always know when she was so afraid she thought she would break?

Without her own doing, her arms lifted and she clung to his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Her eyes squeezed shut tight, she gave up.

Her voice was tiny.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay."

* * *

Having a relationship with Rese, Cass pondered, didn't actually feel different than _not_ having a relationship with her. She bitched, she screamed, she kicked and she lashed out verbally as she always had. But now, something was different.

Maybe it was that she actually let him hold her when she slept.

Maybe it was that she actually touched him now, even if she only did so when nobody was watching.

Maybe it was that her face seemed to soften when she watched him in the darkness of their shared nights.

Whatever it was, he would have to find out.

* * *

The promise he had made so she would accept a relationship with him, Rese thought, was the best birthday present he ever could have given her.

She finally managed to tell him so, even if it took her some hours and a whole lot of courage she never had thought she could actually muster.

But she did it.

He kissed her so hard she saw stars for a lack of oxygen. And then, she kissed him back.


	7. Learn to Fly

**Learn to Fly**

_Summary: KtR7. There are two ways to learn to fly. Cassidy knows both.  
_

_Warning: one dead character. I expect your angry missiles. _

_Set: Story-unrelated, future fic_

_Disclaimer: Ladidah… I don't own Night School… The quote used later is taken from "Juliet", by Anne Fortier_

_

* * *

_

Blue sky and sunshine.

There is something in the season of summer that makes people feel giddy with joy and anticipation. The tree's long shadows are cast onto the hills and meadows. In the warm afternoon light, flowers raise their heads to gather the last daily sunrays.

A girl is running down the steep slope, her dark hair flying wild behind her. Her laughter echoes back from the surrounding hills. From the sunny, curved meadows she descends into a little valley, misses a step and hits the ground hard. For a while, she just lays there, tears coming to her eyes. Then she gets up determinedly, examines her bloody knees and brushes off the earth and dust that clings to her summer dress. Limping slightly, she climbs the hill once again and starts running, her little face a grimace of concentration.

Again she descends from the sunny slope into the valley which is almost fully overshadowed now. She keeps running, this time, she doesn't fall. From the curved meadow she runs into a little forest of young, leafy trees and comes to halt on a mossy clearing. She stops here, her eyes wide, her breath coming in little bursts. After a few seconds, when her breath starts to even out again, she lifts her face to the green canopy of trees and her eyes grow wide with surprise. She stands there, simply inhaling the beauty of nature and the magic of the sunlight falling through the green cathedral. How long she doesn't move she cannot say, but after some time, a man steps onto the clearing almost soundlessly. He seems to be emerging right out of the shadows. Because she knows who it is, she doesn't move at first. Then she turns around, and her expression of wonder has turned into one of happiness.

"Daddy!"

* * *

Cassidy steps closer and, in one swift movement, picks her up from the ground to look at her. He takes in her dark hair and her brown eyes, her sweet smile and her blue dress. And her bloody knees and the green grass stains on her arms. His serious face softens with a loving smile.

"Did you fall, little one?"

"Yes, but I didn't cry!"

The pride in her voice is impossible to overhear.

"What were you doing this time?"

"I'm learning to fly," the girl explained, her heart-shaped face entirely serious. "Aunt Ten said I had to practice."

Cass's face crumples in surprise.

"Why do you want to learn how to fly?"

"To visit Mommy."

Something flashes in those green eyes and is gone again, too quickly for the little girl to notice. His smile disappears as he adjusts to her almost nonexistent weight in his arms and regards her carefully. She answers his gaze unflinchingly.

"You miss her that much, huh?"

* * *

Brown eyes look at him, mirroring the entire sorrow a six-year-old girl can muster. The world cannot carry the weight of the sadness a child has to bear when losing a mother. No answer is necessary. Quietly, Cass pulls her closer and she wraps her arms around his neck and puts her head on his shoulder. The late sunrays paint pictures into the dust dancing in the air. Finally, Cassidy breaks the silence.

"Do you know there are two ways to learn how to fly?" He asks. His daughter lifts her face to look at him and shakes her little head, hope and trust both painted into her features.

"Both can be used, and one of them is easier than the other one. It carries great power. But only one of them is a good way. It's no good if you try it that way, you'll never be able to see her. The other way takes longer and you have to practice much more. But that one is the only right way to learn how to fly."

He lifts his head so his eyes can take in the beauty of the forest surrounding them. Silvery dust dances in the few shining rays of sunlight like snow.

"You don't have to hate the earth in order to be able to fly," Cassidy explains to his daughter. In her face, he can see the features of the woman he loves.

"You have to love the sky."


	8. Off Guard, Part Two

**Off Guard, II**

_Summary: KtR8. 144 hours and 162 minutes. Rese holds out that long until she breaks.  
_

_Warning: Rated T bordering to M. Beware._

_Set: Sequel to "Off Guard", KtR Part4. _

_For nakimia and Keo-Bas. Merry Christmas. I don't know whether you like this... I hope you do. Thanks for returning to read and review!  
_

_

* * *

_

Rese holds out for one week.

Which, Terrence thinks, is pretty amazing, because everyone can see how much it costs her.

One week. Six days and nights. 144 hours. 8640 minutes. 518.400 seconds.

Every second is one too much.

She hates herself for doing it – for doing it to Cass. Still, she can't help it.

Ten and Jay quickly have realized what kind of damage they have done with their little game. The situation is awkward: Rese doesn't talk to them, but she doesn't talk to Cassidy, either. She does look at them, though, while she carefully avoids the glances of her partner. Cass, somewhat used to her moods, endures it. But they all notice his patience slowly is failing him. When he snaps at Jay to keep his mouth shut even though the other hasn't said a word, they all know he won't be able to bear it much longer. But trying to talk to Rese about it is futile, because she won´t listen to them anymore. Not after they have caught her like _that_, caught her _there_. Not after they made fun of her like _that_.

Ten feels bad for both of them, and Jay even more, but he's the one who shows it less openly. They all know how much the two have gone through, how long Cassidy has waited patiently, how hard it has been for him when she left. They know Rese's fears of being left by him, and how much strength it took her to accept their relationship. Secretly, Nadya wonders how long it would actually be able to survive, because if they're already falling apart after two weeks she can't imagine they would be together for much longer. So while Marina tries to talk to Rese and is outright refused, while Jay and Jaq try to take Cass's mind of his partner and Ten, Terrence and Nadya try to pretend nothing has happened, their two leaders fall apart.

It lasts for a week.

* * *

144 hours.

144 hours and 162 minutes after the incident, Rese wakes up at night, a terrified scream already on her lips. She bites back the terror brutally, burying her fingernails in her palms. Her heart beats so quickly she hears the blood rushing in her ears, cold sweat coats her forehead. Before she can check herself, before she has even thought about what happened, while her mind still struggles with the aftermath of the images, her body has already moved on its own accord.

* * *

Cass hasn't slept that night. There's paperwork on his desk, but his mind is anywhere else than on the Council's orders. Staring at the darkness behind the window, he is startled out of his daze by the soft sound of the door opening. He whirls around.

_Rese._

Her hair is untidy and wild and her eyes are wide with terror as she blinks into the light of his desk lamp. She stares at him, brown eyes huge, a doe in the headlights of a car, and he needs a second to realize she has been having nightmares again. His protective instincts shove aside all the remnants of anger and hurt he has nursed for a week.

"It's okay," he whispers as he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. She doesn't react at all, just lets herself be held, still trembling violently. Cass holds her for a while, kneeling on the floor in front of the door. Then he lifts her up easily, carries her to his bed and stretches out besides her. She is still staring at him, almost unblinking, as if she has to get used to his sight again. The fingers of both of her hands are digging into the fabric of his T-shirt. Then she loosens the grip of her right hand, extends it and touches his face. Cass knows it shouldn't, not right now, but her touch makes him shiver.

Rese traces his face, his features, his neckline. Her hands feel his hair, soft and silky despite their appearance. He watches her closely, without saying anything, without moving. Slowly, the terror in her eyes fades. _Feeling_ him is the only way to be sure he is still there, he is still _alive_. Finally, her heart can believe, as well, and she calms. Her heart beat slows down. Her cramped muscles relax. He still looks at her, his face the mixture of longing and worry she has come to know so well. She traces his jaw line, touches his lips. His eyes flutter shut.

* * *

She has missed him – she has missed him so much she thought she was going to break. This entire week, she has been on the verge of falling apart, missing his hands and his touch and his warmth and his soft breathing. _Just once._ Just once they have slept with each other, one time they have spent a night together, and she can't live without him anymore. It's addiction, a crazy, unexplainable need deep within her to be with him. To touch him, to _feel_ him. She doesn't ever want him to leave; she doesn't want to lose him. _He's hers._ Completely, utterly and entirely, as much as she belongs to him with everything she has and ever will be. Does he understand?

"What happened this week," she whispers and is surprised by how difficult the words are. She has said them often enough in her mind – why can't she tell him? Tell him she almost died that week, that she didn't want to hurt him; that she panicked again even though she has promised him not to run anymore. That she just couldn't stand the thought of the others laughing about him, of the others making fun of him. That she was scared by the sheer force of the connection between them, running so deep she was able to hear his thoughts, to feel his entire being. The connection they shared the one night they spent together was exhilarating and frightening at the same time, and she longs for it as much as she dreads it. She has felt it once, and she wants more. She wants _him._

"What happened this week," she tries again and sees he has opened his eyes and is looking at her. Heat floods her cheeks at the intensity in his eyes. Her tongue stumbles, but she has to continue. "Cass, I'm sor…"

* * *

His lips come crashing down on hers so hard she is slammed down onto his bed. The second his lips touch hers, her brain shuts down. Her arms come up, twining around his neck, pulling herself closer to him – _closer, closer, it's still not enough_ – and the words die in her throat. He kisses her hungrily, fervently, and she replies with the same force and raw need she can sense in his being. His body is pressed against hers tightly. She can feel his heart beating as fast as hers.

Cass savors the taste of her lips, the soft sensation of her skin under his hands. Her body is soft and pliant underneath his. He breaks the kiss and looks at her – her cheeks flushed, her eyes unfocussed but still looking at him, only at him. She doesn't move when he props himself up upon his hands. The way she lays there – her arms outstretched, unmoving, her face open and vulnerable, he sees the total surrender with which she has given herself to him.

"I love you."

He freezes in surprise.

He has said the words already, he has told her a few times since she came back. But she never has said them before. Carefully, he pushes aside a few strands of black hair and touches her face. Her eyes are wide and clear.

"I love you, Cass."

* * *

Simple and clear.

He undresses her carefully, peels away layers of hate and anger and cocoons of loneliness and fear of many years in one night. She watches him shrug of his T-shirt and touches him with wonder, feels every scar, every muscle. The need is still there, but it's soft now, as if it has melted into something slow and careful. Every move is important, every touch speaks volumes of what they think and feel. Words are not necessary. Their connection stands, as deep as it ever could be, and both finally understand and accept they're not two beings any longer but one entity, one soul in two bodies. Eyes wide open, they become one.

* * *

When the sun wakes Rese the next morning she feels Cassidy's arms around her waist and hears his breathing at her shoulder. She doesn't want to move.

A sound from outside the hall makes her stir.

Cass pulls her back.

"Don't worry," he mumbles sleepily and she can feel his grin.

"I've locked the door."

She wonders if she should punch him or kiss him.


	9. Difference

**Difference**

_Summary: KtR09. The difference is always as great as you want to believe. Or as great as you feel it is. Rese-centric_

_Warnings: Dark. Angsty. Bloody, in the truest sense of word. Not much of content. Last chance to run._

_Set: Story-unrelated_

_

* * *

_

The hot water stung.

The rushing sound of the shower and the blood rushing in her ears drowned out everything else. The mirror was coated in steam, the floor probably already slippery from the water droplets condensing on the cold tiles.

The water in the drain was brown and red with dirt.

_Blood._

_Water._

Her eyes were closed. Standing under the stream of scalding water, Rese didn't move at all. She let the acid liquid run over her face, her shoulders and her entire body. Where it touched her wounds it stung. She ignored it. Physical pain was something she could handle.

She would never leave this room. She would stay under the hot water forever, until she felt warm again. Until the horrible cold had drained from her body, from her bones and from her heart. Until the chill receded, the trembling stopped. Until she could _feel_ something again.

Her fingers were numb. Her shoulders felt stiff but there was no pain in them. Or, if there was, she didn't feel it. There _should _have been pain. She should be able to feel the hurt in her dislocated shoulder, the stinging of the hot water in the many wounds on her body, the crackling ache in her twisted ankle. The bruise forming on her cheekbone should hurt. Her torn and bleeding lips should hurt. The shallow cut on her lower left arm should hurt. Or, _at least, s_he should be able to feel the heat of the water.

Nothing.

Water. Water. She wouldn't leave the room until…

_Knocking._

"Teresa? Are you okay?"

Terrance.

Slowly waking from her stupor, she stretched her arms until she could feel the handle of the water tab. Then, still numb, she turned off the running water. When she stepped out of the shower the cold should have hit her like a solid fist. She still didn't feel anything. She felt as cold as the stone tiles under her naked feet as she grabbed a towel, her hair dripping water droplets all over the floor.

"Teresa?"

He wouldn't go away until she answered.

"Yeah."

Silence.

Rese stood in front of the mirror, looking at her image and yet looking through it. She didn't see anything. Her fingers rubbed her arms, her face, but there was nothing left to wash away. Still the feeling of the dried blood on her skin remained. She rubbed harder, her nails breaking open bruised skin, leaving red marks. _Claw marks_. The memory of the sight of blood, red and hot on her skin, returned. She scratched harder, finally feeling a dim pain explode in her brain. Nails brushed against skin and dug into it. Blood dribbled out of the cuts, the sweet, irony smell overwhelming.

_It's just blood._

Her own blood. There was no problem with that.

She sank to the ground, clutching the towel. Hugging her bleeding arms around herself, she pressed her eyes shut and tried to forget everything else. Her surroundings. Terrance in front of the door. Marina and Ten and Nadya in the kitchen. Jaq and Jay in the living-room. She tried to push it aside, to will it into nonexistence. Her surroundings. Her senses.

_Herself_.

The door opened quietly. Terrance crouched down next to her and pulled her upright, carefully hugging her to him. He smelled clean and soapy, nothing like the scent she still could smell on herself.

_Blood._

The smell that lingered in the night air. The stench pestering her nose, making her gag and want to throw up. She never had a problem with blood before.

_Why now?_

Terrance wrapped his arms around her. He had never held her like that before, not in the eleven years she had known him. Suddenly she realized he was like a brother to her but the thought melted away at the sudden, overwhelming wave of pain that crashed over her as her senses and her feelings returned abruptly.

She could still feel the blood on her skin. She could still smell it, see it, _taste it_. It was normal blood, the same she had seen and smelled and felt many times before. There was just one difference.

This time, it was Cassidy's blood.


	10. Drinking the Storm

**Drinking the storm**

_Summary: KtR10 - The beauty of life is mirrored in a thunderstorm.  
_

_Warnings: Rese/Cass friendship  
_

_Set: Story-unrelated_

_A/N: This was written last fall, when the weather was similar to the one in the story. My room is directly under the roof. It was one of the most wonderful things I ever witnessed.  
_

_

* * *

_

The boundless beauty of life is mirrored in a thunderstorm.

While flashes hunt each other and open up jagged scars in the black cover of night, the world is cast into an eerie half-darkness. The storm pelts the windows. The clattering and splashing of water on a hardened surface is a sound absolutely unique. Along with the howling of the wind tearing at the half-open windows, it provides an atmosphere of breathtaking beauty.

It's a display of the wild, undeterred force of nature.

Thunder shakes the roof as the strumming rain increases. Lightning strikes, once, twice, immediately chased after by thunder. The air smells _different. _Lively and pure. Indescribably strange and yet strikingly familiar. After a week's worth of heat and sunshine the night chases away the last remnants of summer by letting Heaven's wrath crash down on sleeping, unsuspecting and unpremeditated human beings. Most of them scramble deeper under their covers, close the windows and pull down the blinds. Most try to ignore the proof that nature still has undeterred dominance over the fragile beings that walk on Earth.

Rese opens the window.

She loves the wildness of the storm, the lightning that adds sharp and jagged cuts to the soft image of the world. She loves the scent of nature, of wet wood and drenched asphalt, of mud and grass and trees. She loves the distant rumble of thunder, sometimes rolling in slowly, sometimes coming in sharp, crackling bursts that make her flinch. She loves the rain, never-ending, cascading, sacred rain. And she loves its sound, its smell and its touch on her bare skin. Heaven is lamenting, overflowing with grief and sadness and anger. But in every tear, every sob, it demonstrates its unwillingness to give up. The rain tells about losses and despair. The lightning is anger and defiance. The thunder is strength and trust.

Rese loves the storm.

Cassidy sometimes thinks that maybe Rese has been born during such a storm like the one they are witnessing now. It suits her. Her dark hair is a flame of black water. Her face is relaxed as she breathes in the scent of the rain deeply. Her eyes take in the ragged lightning and the short intervals of landscape visible between the bolts. Her entire figure leans towards the window and though it isn't opened entirely a few droplets of rain touch her skin. They seem to caress her, softly and gently, and he catches himself feeling jealousy rising like acid in his throat. He'll never be able to have her like he wants to. She is like the storm: impossible to catch and impossible to hold on to. Wild and free, and nobody can stop her when she has something in mind.

He finally mounts the last stairs to the attic and stops again to watch her. Wind plays in her hair. Her entire figure is absorbing the strength of the thunder storm, drawing energy from it like others draw energy from sunshine and food. From where he stands he can feel the soft, cool wind tug at him but he refuses to give in, to surrender to it the way Rese surrenders to the storm. He resists and watches her instead. His eyes take in her figure greedily, her muscled arms and legs. Her slender shoulders that can carry so much more than they should be able to carry. Her head, held high even while she holds her ground against the storm. Her hands rest on either side of her, softly sitting on the window sill. Here, right under the roof, the storm is even louder than downstairs. The constant drumming of the rain colors the silence and hides him until he finally decides to step closer.

Cassidy comes up behind her. He leans forward and breathes in the soft scent of her still-wet hair.

Rese is so distracted she only notices him when he slips his arms around her and she can feel his breath close to her ear. Instinctively, she tenses. The sky is illuminated by a pair of brilliant lightning bolts and she holds her breath. The picture she sees is so beautiful she wants to cry. She wants to cry – and, at the same moment, she wants to laugh. Wants to fly, to join the lightning in its dance, wants to feel the rain on her face and the wind in her hair. She wants to breathe in the raw, pure force of nature.

What anchors her to earth, to the floor of the dusty, dark attic, is a pair of strong, lean arms dotted with freckles. Carefully, she relaxes into Cass's embrace and leans back, closing her eyes for the first time since the storm began. It is slowly losing strength. The pelting rain is reduced to a small splattering against the window-panes. The lightning flashes a last time and dies. The thunder recedes. Darkness covers them again, impenetrable, and suddenly she feels the cold wind brushing her face. The figure behind her radiates warmth.

Rese is like the storm. He cannot pin her down, hold her, _define_ her as something she is or isn't. It's impossible. Like the storm she is quick and strong and beautiful and fearful at the same time. She is oddly vulnerable and defensive in moments and angry and aggressive in others. The stunning beauty of her character is laced with her faults, as is the storm and the rain. But it's so much more _human. _ So much more beautiful.

It wasn't until he met Rese that Cassidy learned to love the storm, as well.

* * *

Sometimes Rese wonders why on earth it is that she can still feel this deep connection to Cassidy even though they have known each other for years now. He is so much to her: her best friend, her hunting partner, the only person she trusts entirely and the only one who would ever be allowed to touch her like that. Contentedly, she sighs and lets him hold her. Dying lightning shapes the world one last time, illuminates the storm in all its brilliance and beauty.

She loves the storm.

Cass feels her relax as she leans into him and is content with just holding her.

_Friends._

Right now, it's fine with him.


	11. On Personal Space and Privacy, Part One

**On Personal Space and Privacy, I**

_Summary: KtR 11 - Rese doesn't invade other peoples' personal space.  
_

_Warnings: Ummm… I've planted Rese's roots firmly in France. For no special reason. It won't be particularly important._

_Set: First part during vol3, second part much, much later_

* * *

Rese doesn't invade other peoples' personal space.

Not under normal circumstances, that is. Ten can count the times she has seen her friend doing so on her two hands. Maybe it's due to the fact that she has been born in France. Ten has heard people say that Europeans can be silly when it comes to close interaction with other people. For example, they keep a much wider space between each other while conversing. Why? Ten cannot tell. But she knows Rese cautiously moves backwards when anyone comes too close and that she never asks personal questions though she answers most of them open and honestly.

Ten has noticed that Rese seems to feel self-conscious in closed spaces with many people. Any American who has ever used the tube knows that it is normal to be packed into the carts as closely as possible. Rese tries to squeeze herself into a corner, as far away as possible from any other stranger. _This_ can't be a result of the six years she has been living in France as a child because there are tubes in France, too, and from what Ten has read and seen they are as crowded as New York's. So, she guesses, this rather is a personal aspect to her best friend. Rese never obviously avoids crowds or other people's company – but sometimes, she's just not comfortable with it.

Fighting is something else entirely. In close combat the opponent has to be close – the name implies so already – and Rese is one of the best close-combat fighters the hunters are training right now. Ten would know because she has seen many of them. Rese _is_ good – she has flaws, as well, but her style is fast and lethal. A hunter cannot avoid close contact with his opponent. There is no hunter that cannot stand the touch of a vampire or demon (isn't it funny that _they_ cannot stand the hunter's touch), or flinches at the thought that there are too many opponents to fight.  
Rese doesn't, either. But sometimes, just _sometimes_, Ten can see her force her lips into a tight line and square her shoulders before she begins fighting.

She cannot imagine why her friend should feel uncomfortable with something like that. But she is her friend, and she won't laugh at her.

So Rese doesn't like big crowds.

She doesn't like people touching her.

She doesn't like people too close to her.

She doesn't invade other people's personal space, either.

All of this is pretty clear to most of the hunters. Only Ten notices the fact that whenever Rese and Cass are standing next to each other, whatever they are doing, their shoulders seem to touch.

Just barely.

Rese probably doesn't even notice.


	12. Back to the Place

**Back to the Place**

_Summary: KtR8 – Rese returns to the place where she was born. It hasn't changed. She has. OneShot._

_Warnings: Not as dark and gloomy as I thought it would be. So, go ahead… _

_Set: Story-unrelated, future-fic_

* * *

Rese returns to the place where she was born.

The streets are empty. The city is quiet. It's early morning and the sun is just rising above the roofs of the small houses that line the street. The first birds begin their morning concert. Life is slowly waking from its slumber; world and time are starting to move again.

She's the only one in the streets. Walking down the sidewalk slowly, both her hands in her pockets to protect them from the still-chilly morning winds, Teresa sees two different pictures:

The one is the one she sees when she looks ahead. A small street, an urban area, with small houses and pretty front yards. White picket fences. Red flower pots. Marble entrance stairs, blue doors with little flower garbs hanging from the ceiling of the porch. Somewhere, a dog barks, a rough sound in the calmness of the morning. But it fits this area.  
Children and parents and families, door to door, home to home. Here, children play in the afternoon's sunshine; dogs bark happily, mothers carry their groceries from the car to the front door. Fathers return from work in the evening.

Normal people live here, live everyday lives.

The picture she sees in front of her mind's eye is only slightly different. It carries the hopes and expectations every child carries, and the edges of the picture are crumpled and worn-out. It's a picture she has looked at often. The houses are similar, and the front yards look just like they do now. The white fence is hidden behind the statures of two people, smiling and waving. One of them carries a child. Black hair, black eyes. A sunny smile. A wide grin.

Normal people lived here, lived everyday lives.

* * *

_Never forget where you come from._

She never has. She still remembers. For Teresa, this isn't _returning_.

_She never was gone_.

She walks down the street, looking at the cars and the houses carefully. She tries to find similarities to the image she still carries with her but they're not there anymore. Or rather, they're right there, in front of her eyes, but she refuses to see them.

The place hasn't changed. She has.

She turns her back on the small, urban street and doesn't look back.

* * *

Instead, she directs her steps to the small cemetery in the hills behind St. Luc's.

The graveyard is small and old. Not many people are buried here, because this is a hunter's resting site and there's not always enough left to recover a hunter's body for a grave. The two graves she visits are empty, too. Still, a white stone angel, small and faceless, guards them.

Teresa puts down the flowers she has brought and cowers next to them without taking her eyes from the words on the small stone. She knows them by heart. As always, seeing them hurts deeply. As always, the pain slowly recedes. It shouldn't, she thinks, it shouldn't become that small and insignificant. That _easy_ to ignore. Losing one's parents isn't something that should be easy to forget. Teresa never has forgotten but she hasn't exactly been screaming for revenge those past years.

She can hear Cassidy's voice – _you're not an avenger, you're a protector – _and her mother's.

_Never forget where you come from._

Never forget…

No, she hasn't forgotten, not for a single minute. She returns every year, at least every year she's near the place. She comes back, as if she's drawn to the place. In a way, she is. Here is her last connection to a life that could have been. Here is her last link to _what-if-it-had-never-happened._

And, of course, her last link to her parents.

* * *

Tears never come. She still is unable to cry. Instead, she smiles, because she knows her mother loved it best when she smiled. Someone has told her that she looks just like her when she smiles so she does so whenever she thinks nobody is watching. She just smiles.

The streets are cast into the golden light of the wakening sun. It chases away the last chills and warms Teresa's face as she walks down the road from the cemetery, again, not once looking back. The streets she is walking – she knows them by heart. Three years of absence haven't changed the fact that she could follow them blind. It is the way to the place that she has lived in for several years, the place that has been her home and her refuge until it was compromised by a traitor and a pack of werewolves. The traitor is dead and the house has been secured again and now they are back, living in it. Or, rather, the others are back. She has left them three years ago, and only recently returned, and she still can't say whether they are happy to see her again or whether they wish she'd stayed wherever she had been for the time.

The gate with its cameras and microphones.

The small, winding path and the gravel that crunches under her step.

The front door, massive and secure, that only can be opened by a password, a finger print and a security code unique to every inhabitant of the house.

Teresa slips inside and disabled the alarm system quickly. 8.7 seconds. Then she's inside and leans her back against the door.

The house is still mostly dark. How else should it be. The others still are asleep, or out hunting and…

The kitchen door opens and suddenly, the hallway is full of light and voices. Ten sees her and waves at her.

"There you are!" She beckons and manages to sound happy and reprimanding at the same time. "We've already started breakfast, hurry up!"

Surprised, Teresa follows her into the kitchen. Her friends and family are assembled around the great, wooden table that is bending under the combined weight of food and beverages. Ten and Nadia are pouring out coffee, Marina is searching for something in one of the huge kitchen cabinets. Jaq and Cass are engrossed in a quiet conversation while Terrance and Jay have stuck their heads together over something that looks like the morning paper. Something breaks around her heart.

"Make some room, would you?"

She doesn't wait for Jay to respond and squeezes into the small place between him and Terrance. Both start complaining but Rese starts reading the newspaper, too, and they have to read quickly because she's already searching for local news. Ten grabs a pan on the stove, makes a whirling motion and a pancake lands directly on her plate. Rese smiles. The whole sight is so familiar, so right, and her smile is genuine.

Cass catches her expression and grins at her.

Nadia sits down opposite of her and hands her the sugar without being asked.

Ten grabs a huge dish with pancakes and flips them onto the waiting dishes.

Terrance tucks away the newspaper.

When no one is watching, Jay uses the opportunity to steal some of the bacon that Marina has been shoveling onto her plate.

Jaq starts spreading butter on a bagel without a word.

Teresa savors the smell of fresh coffee and the feeling of finally being back where she belongs.


	13. On Personal Space and Privacy, Part Two

**On Personal Space and Privacy II**

_Summary: KtR13 There is nothing like privacy in a Clave. So, if they see something, they pretend not to have noticed. _

_Warning: -  
_

_Set: story-unrelated, sequel to On Personal Space and Privacy I. Incidentally, this chapter goes along pretty well with Hunters' Fate - Ch8, which I've uploaded today as well. This chapter, though, was written almost half a year before the other one...  
_

* * *

Privacy is something that is difficult to maintain in a house full of hunters.

"Full" is an exaggeration, probably, but it's close. Seven people, sometimes eight, living together in a place that just barely might be big enough for all of them can cause conflicts and problems and not even a house with twenty rooms can be big enough if seven people would like to ignore each other.

Luckily, Terrance thinks, they live together quite well.

Maybe it is because they have been together since they can remember.

They have arranged themselves with each other. The living-room is their meeting place. Whenever someone comes home, he most likely will find one or two or more people in the big, comfortable room with its soft sofas and its fireplace. Here's the place everyone comes when he has free time at hand, wants to talk to someone or just wants to listen to conversation being made by the others. Most of their evenings, they spend here.

The next place that belongs to the family is the kitchen. It probably started when Marina started doing her homework here while Nadia and Ten prepared dinner and Rese sat with them while cleaning her weapons. Then, Jay came to annoy her and Jaq followed him and Terrance and Cassidy joined them, too. The room isn't as big as the living-room, but the table's enough for seven of them and Teacher whenever he comes to visit them. In winter, it's a warm place and in summer it's cool and they all love the kitchen almost as much – or, in some cases, even more – than the living-room.

* * *

What is out of bounds is the room of every single one of them.

Their own room. Whenever someone locks himself in his the others know he does not want to be disturbed. Of course, sometimes, they still do it, like when Rese is simply being stubborn again or when Jaq wants to exclude himself from them. For Terrance, his room is his refuge – the small room with one wide bed, a cabinet, a desk and a shelf. He doesn't have many things – a few books, a few pictures of his family, a few clothes – but still, the room has something that makes it his and his alone. His hiding place. His privacy.

And sometimes, privacy they need.

* * *

In such a close family like theirs, privacy is as valued as it is futile in most aspects.

There is no way they can hide Marina's nightmares or Nadia's survivor's guilt or Jaq's frequent descents into darkness and hopelessness. They cannot hide Jay's feeling of not being good enough or Rese's fear of being alone or Cass's sense of being inadequate or Ten's fright of losing the person that is like a father to her. Or his own desperate need to protect them all.

They share it, forcibly, because there is nothing like privacy for hunters.

But they also share their happiness at being together, the triumph of completing a mission successfully, of saving lives and each other. They share their joy of a free evening and their looking-forward to the next hunt. They share Ten's happiness and Marina's kindness and Nadia's compassion. They share Rese's loyalty and Cass's devotion, Jay's humor and Jaq's strength and Terrance's sense of protection.

* * *

Through their shared connection, they seldom endure loneliness. But every individual needs privacy sometimes, and sometimes, it's difficult to find it in their home. Because they respect each other, and want to live together as unproblematic as possible, they've made a mutual promise:

Nobody intrudes on the privacy of another if it's not wanted or called for.

This pact is hard to keep, sometimes, and quite simple in other times. But everyone clings to it. So if something happens and someone else of them sees it – and because they are hunters, they always see it – they stand back politely and don't intrude if the other doesn't wish for it.

Terrance sees it, of course. Everyone sees it. It's impossible to overlook, both the changes in the persons involved and the changes they cause in all of them. It has been going on like this for some time, and still, there hasn't been a clash. No conflict, no explosion, and slowly Terrance is starting to breathe normal again when he sees it. It seems to work. And, even better, it seems to be _good._ For all of them, not only for the ones involved. It's interesting how such a change can affect the lives of the people around but not involved. But then, it shouldn't be strange, because they're a family, after all.

Hunters see everything. That way it's impossible to ignore the fact that sometimes, at night, Rese slips into Cassidy's room.


	14. Need to Clarify

**Need to Clarify**

_Summary: KtR14. "You really don't understand, do you?" Doesn't Rese understand or doesn't she want to? _

_Warning: Where the hell is the fluff coming from so suddenly? Ah, well, it's probably the Christmas happiness. Edit: Written more than half a year ago... And it's Christmas again soon!^^  
_

_Set: Approximately four months before "Baits", story-unrelated_

_Disclaimer: Standards apply. _

* * *

"Hi, I'm Julien. What's your name?"

"Rese. Hi."

Heartily, the young hunter shook Rese's hand and smiled at her. His dark hair was a shocking contrast to his fair skin and grey eyes and a scar ran from his temple to the side of his head. A white strand of hair stood out from the dark background and made him look… _roughish. _But there was nothing like the usual combination of a charming smile and arrogant air she knew of other hunters and therefore she didn't deem it unfit to smile back at him.

His grip, as anticipated, was warm and firm.

"Short form of what?"

"Teresa."

"_Rese_." He seemed to taste her name on his tongue before smiling once again. "That's a nice name. Where are you from?"

"Actually, I'm from here. New York."

"I'm from Chicago. Nice to meet you!"

"Likewise."

-v-

They stood a little awkwardly in the middle of the great hall that was bursting with people. Every hunter who could make it for the annual gathering had arrived, bringing noise and laughs and loud greetings and old rivalries and friendship and memories and old jokes and new anecdotes and was ready to share it with whomever was there to listen. The great hall, normally fit for accommodating fifty people, more or less, had been cleared of the huge table, the massive chairs and other furniture. Instead, a thousand lampions and garlands had replaced the serene, wooden walls and the antique picture frames. In the background, music was playing softly. Long tables had been placed at the walls of the room, laden with dishes, bowls, baskets and silver platters. It could have been a Prince's Ball Night and Rese silently wondered whether such events only took place in fairy tales or if this was real. And if it was, wasn't it too pompous, too exaggerated? Why did hunters invite for such a splendid evening if the only thing one gained was the fact that one had to squeeze oneself into a tight dress, was unable to move and suffered from the high heels of one's shoes? There was no sense in events like this, there was no sense in the dress Ten had forced her in and it made no sense to even be here. But Teresa was there and if she had allowed herself to be honest she would have to confess that she liked the display of splendor and drama.

She was a woman, after all.

Her dress was deep red and made from a velvety material she didn't know because it was so soft it would break at the first signs of strain and therefore unsuited for hunter's gear. It left her arms and most of her shoulders bare and fell down to her knees in soft waves. She was able to move in it and that was what mattered. Ten had dressed her up, made her make-up and done her hair and even though Rese didn't like to say so she really was amazed at the result her best friend had achieved. She looked stunning: her dark hair and her dark skin fit the color of the dress perfectly and the shoes weren't too high. Rese felt pretty, she felt warm and happy and she didn't mind the hunter that was currently speaking to her.

Rather the opposite. He was nice and polite and she had no one else to talk to right now. Ten was off with Marina, to find the guy Marina _liked_ (but obviously never had talked to). Jaq and Jay hadn't arrived yet, neither had Cass. Terrance had taken Nadya to get something to eat and thus, Rese was left to herself in the bustling, hustling, dancing, talking crowd. Off and on, people would talk to her, greet her, introduce other people and leave again. Since she wasn't waiting for someone specific, and since she had the entire evening, she just let herself be taken up by the atmosphere.

-v-

"I was wondering," Julien was saying and his eyes shone, "whether demons in my place and demons in New York are different? I mean, you have the usual vampires and wolves and weirn, don't you, but I heard it needs extra training to go after Canadian _Shai_ Demons. I once visited a friend in California and was able to witness a spectacular display of three nightmare demons… I've never seen anything like that before."

"Oh, if you're looking for strange things, go to Europe," Rese told him. Her eyes shone. "They have a kind of demon they call _Waldgeist_ – something like a forest demon, but it resembles more a _Daran_ than anything else. Point is: those things are _fast!_ We spent a night chasing down a flock of them, and they had the cheek to mock us all the way… While throwing pine cones at us."

Julien grinned. "What did they do?"

Immediately, the smile vanished from her face.

"They abducted a kid. Thought it was funny to let it dangle from the top of the highest tree. They called it _revenge_. The people had started to uproot their forest."

"So, in a way, they had every right to be angry."

"They almost killed a _five-year-old child_. This world belongs to the humans, demons are only endured and they know it as well as you and me. They don't belong here."

"We aren't exactly human, either."

She turned to him, her eyes blazing from the heat of the building argument. She loved discussions. They made her blood run hot, her heart beat faster.

"We are the _Blood of Eden_. We have every right to be here, as much as humans have. We live here, we protect them. And as long as night things value the treaty, there's no problem."

Julien smiled. "You're right, of course. So – you have been to Europe?"

"Yes, for a few months."

"Wow! How was it? Where were you? Have you seen elves?"

"Elves?" Rese laughed out loud. "No, there aren't any elves in Europe either, sorry to disappoint you. But there are a lot of strange creatures. Take their _Klabautermänner, a_ species of demons living on ships at the German coast. Or those strange French ones, I've forgotten their name… They hide as humans and help them cooking. They are peaceful, those ones, and love to create new food… There's a reason why France is famous for her restaurants! And the Spanish and Portuguese _niebla_ demons… They're almost like _Yhryu_, but even harder to get at. They're not called _mist demons_ for nothing."

"Wow. That sounds great! I wish I could travel to Europe once, or to Asia…"

"Well, if you can't, don't feel bad. I'm the only one from my Clave who went and there are only few hunters who ever leave the continent they were born on. There's just…"

"Too much to do," Julien ended her sentence with a sigh and a smile. "Well, at least it never gets boring, does it! But Europe has hunters, too, hasn't it?"

"Yes, of course. They call themselves _Hunters_, too, though their codex is a bit stricter than ours. But they're just as effective as we are."

"No false shyness," Julien snickered and took two glasses from a waiter, who was passing with a platter. Handing her one, he smiled again and lifted it.

"I'm glad I met you."

Rese returned his smile. "Again, likewise."

-v-

Talking to him felt good.

It was simple, so easy and familiar – she felt like talking to a brother or a sister and she was glad she had found someone to spend her time with. She had caught a glimpse of Ten and Marina, somewhere in the far corner of the hall, and Jaq and Jay had waved at her but had been swallowed by the crowd again. Rese shrugged and momentarily wondered where Cass was hiding. He never had liked gatherings like this but he usually appeared for a few hours and then disappeared again. Today, she hadn't seen him anywhere. Well, he'd find her if he wanted to, she guessed and tried to bury the little spike of anxiety (_Hurt? What the…_) that crept into her heart when she thought about him.

"So what is your day like?"

"My day? Like, what do I do _here_, in NY?"

"Yeah, something like that." He smiled again, a smile that made her want to answer the right thing.

"I hunt, of course, and when I've off duty I do what everyone else does. Life isn't spectacularly different just because it is in New York, you know…"

"It's not?" A laugh. "I thought it was. What a disappointment! I've heard so much about this city. Someone even called it the _Center of the World_."

"Well, the Council is seated here so there might be a point there. But we're by no means more special than other cities."

"_You_ seem special."

Rese pulled up an eye brow. "I'm not, believe me. Except if you call a crazy person _special._ Cass always says…"

She interrupted herself. _There. _She had done it again – she had started to talk and hadn't known when to stop, ruining a perfectly nice conversation. It was exactly what had carried her into many difficult situations and she had promised herself to be careful about what she said. But she couldn't help herself – the words just seemed to flow from her lips as soon as she started to talk and she talked too fast in order to stop herself when her thoughts went astray. _TMI, _Ten called it, _too much information._

Julien, intrigued either by her sudden silence or by her comment – she wasn't able to tell which it was – of course took her up on what she had said.

"Cass? Who's that?"

"Cassidy," she said, suddenly not feeling warm and calm and happy any more. "A… Clave brother of mine."

"Is he," Julien said and pulled up a brow. Even though he had no reason not to believe in what she told him – he didn't know Cass, after all – he didn't seem to think she was telling the truth.

"The way you said his name… What is he to you?"

Surprise welled up inside her and turned to annoyance quickly. (Not quite anger. Not _quite_, not _yet_.)

"Excuse me. I don't think I have to answer this question to a total stranger…"

"Of course not," Julien said apologetic and smiled disarmingly. "It was just… The way you said his name, he must be very important to you."

"He is," she said curtly. "He is like a brother to me."

Julien started to talk about safe topics once again but the evening was spoiled for Rese. She listened politely and suddenly wished he would leave her alone. But he smiled and laughed and went on talking and suddenly she was aware of the fact how close he had come. There was barely half a meter of space left between the two of them.

She made a step back but he followed smoothly.

"…Really a wonderful place," she heard him saying. "I'm sure you would like it there. I have known…"

Rese, helplessly staring over his shoulder and nodding once in a while, finally made out Nadya and Terrance in the hall and seized the opportunity.

"Julien, it has been nice talking to you, but I have to go now."

His face fell.

"Are you sure? I really enjoyed your presence and I thought it was mutual…"

"I'm sorry," she said curtly and put the almost untouched glass down on a near table. "Enjoy your stay in New York."

She turned away but he caught her arm in a tight grip.

"Please, wouldn't you…"

"She said she wants to go," a familiar voice interrupted him and both Rese and Julien swirled around to see the newcomer.

"Cass?"

-v-

Cassidy didn't spare her a glance. His eyes were fixed on Julien alone and underneath the cool, green-eyed stare, the man started to shift uncomfortably.

"Hey, she was the one who…"

"I don't care," Cass told him again, ice now lacing his voice dangerously. Rese had never seen him like this. "Get _lost_."

And Julien complied.

"What's with you?" Rese threw an angry look at him, not sure whether to be plainly annoyed, merely surprised or justifiedly angry. "I was just getting rid of him already! There was no need to…"

"No need to what?" He interrupted her, finally turning to her and looking at her. He wore a plain, black suit and his normally unruly hair had been combed back neatly. He looked… _different. _So strange. Somehow… _grown-up. _When had he grown up? When had he stopped being the Cass she knew and had become _Cassidy_? Speechless, she stared at him and felt the tiny pang again. She grasped for appropriate words.

"No need to insult a fellow hunter?"

"Or no need to clarify?" He shot back. "Oh yes, there was, Rese. There was a _great need _to do just _that."_

"What are you talking about?"

Fury and a strange kind of… _insecurity_ had replaced the last feelings of happiness and calm that had carried her so far this evening. Cass had this effect on her – he was either her best friend or her greatest opponent, infuriatingly calm and, at the same time, more offensive than she ever would be.

"Need to _clarify_," he said and closed in on the space between them until his face was only centimeters from hers. She fought the urge to fall back. This was _Cass. S_he wouldn't back down.

"Clarify _what_?"

Staring at him, she found herself mirrored in his eyes. _Green_. Deep and unreadable. Her breath caught in her throat. Cass stared back, something entirely strange in his eyes.

"That you're not interested in a relationship."

"Wha-" Surprise made her gasp. "He wasn't – he didn't even – it wasn't like _that_!"

"Wasn't it?" Cass replied and his eyes shrank to slits. "Then tell me what he wanted."

"He just wanted to talk, to…"

"_Of course._ He had _absolutely _no ulterior motives. Rese, sometimes I wonder how you have gotten through your life until here without falling victim to your own naïveté_."_

Familiar warmth boiled up inside her. Anger was the normal sentiment she felt when Cassidy was near. At the same time, exhilaration came. There was nothing like fighting her best friend. Nothing as familiar and strange and exhilarating and satisfying and…

"Thank you, Mister _Experience!_ So if the genius knows that guy wanted to lay me, so what made him believe he knew what my answer would be?"

Cass pretended to be thinking.

"Maybe the fact that you haven't once had a lasting relationship for the last ten years?"

"What if I never _wanted_ one?"

"You want one now?" His eyes were blazing. He was patient by nature but she was testing his boundaries. She knew she was the only person who could go that far, normally he never lost his cool. It was one of the things that made her blood run faster and her heart rate pick up when fighting him. "Excuse me if I interrupted. Let me get that stupid guy back so he can continue undressing you with his eyes and try to get you drunk. Which, as I could tell him, won't work since you don't really drink, and you can continue flirting and…"

"I wasn't flirting!"

Her first instinct told her to shove him into the next wall. She reminded herself where she was – this wasn't the training hall at home. The second one, not quite different, made her want to hit him – hit him _hard – _because even though they argued on a regular basis he never had spoken to her like _that_. She opened her mouth to continue and found she couldn't think of anything to say. Her brain was entirely empty. Her mouth fell shut again.

And suddenly he was smirking at her, sensing her rage and annoyance and insecurity. _Wha-_

She felt her cheeks heat up.

_Wonderful._

"No, you weren't flirting," Cass agreed. Anger had completely left his face and had been replaced by something… Something she had never seen in his eyes before. "You haven't once tried to seriously flirt with anyone as long as I know you. And I know the reason, too."

The sudden intimacy in his voice made her blush even harder.

"What are you talking about!"

"But of course you'd never say it yourself," he continued, still smirking. "Because you, Rese, already are in love with someone."

"_Wha_ – I'm not!"

"And you're lying if you say you're not, and you know that…" – he came even closer – "As well as I do."

"_You're_ lying! Shut up, I'm not…"

"Do I have to clarify, once again?" Her hand lashed out but he caught her fist easily. He leaned forwards until his breath tickled her ear and brushed the side of her face. His whispered words were so quiet she almost missed them.

-v-

Nadya and Terrance had been kept up by a few hunters who wanted to talk to them.

Terrance was just answering the questions of a foreign hunter who listened with rapt interest. Since she had nothing else to do, Nadya glanced through the crowd of dancing people and suddenly caught a look at Rese and Cass standing at the far side of the hall. She paused, confused. The crowd shifted and then let her catch a glimpse again but by then the image had already faded. Rese and Cass were standing next to each other, seemingly casual. Looking in two entirely different directions, they appeared perfectly normal. Two friends and Clave siblings on a council gathering, watching the crowd, content without needing to talk. There was just a _hint_ of a blush in Rese's face and the ghost of a smile on Cass's.

Everything seemed normal.

Still, Nadya could have sworn that, a few seconds ago, the two of them had been kissing.

-v-

_You are mine. _

His lips were so soft she was too confused to hit him for his _ridiculous_ claim.

(_Though she wondered how it would feel if he kissed her again.)_


End file.
